Man Bombs Walmart Because Security Won’t Let Him Have Sex With Goat In Parking Lot



A man in Tupelo, Mississippi was arrested on Monday after police accused him of bombing a local Walmart for not allowing him to have sex with his pet goat in his van in the parking lot. The Tupelo Police chief Bart Aguirre said that the bomb made a loud bang, and ultimately killed 13 people when Marshall E Leonard allegedly throws it into the 24-hour shopping center early Sunday morning.

The device had enough explosive to cause the entire building to blow up had Leonard assembled it differently, the police chief added. Walmart has a strict policy of loitering in the parking lot, so when Leonard’s van had been there for more than three hours security decided to check it out. “The van arrived in the parking lot in the early morning hours but I never saw anyone going in or out of the van,” said Timothy Harding, Walmart’s head security. “But I did see the van swaying side to side every now and then. You could tell someone was in there. I thought maybe a kid was jumping up and down inside. So I approached the vehicle to see what was going on. That’s when I saw Leonard molesting the goat. Yes, I said molesting. I don’t think that goat was a willing participant.”

Leonard was asked to leave by Walmart security and he agreed. However Harding said he mumbled a, “can’t get any peace and quiet anywhere” before leaving, as if he’d done this somewhere else before. Within 30 minutes, eyewitnesses say they saw a 1970’s cargo van enter the parking lot. That’s when he exited the vehicle and walked towards the store. “An employee was sitting near the entrance taking a break. He told the employee to run – that he was going to blow up the place. He throws the package into the front entrance of Walmart. He flees and the employee fleas,” said Aguirre.

Unfortunately, shoppers in the entrance did not understand what was going on and 13 people lost their lives that day. Leonard what’s arrested after running a red light near the shopping center and was charged with detonating an explosive and murder. The goat was recovered from the scene and is currently under medical care at the local animal hospital for lacerations of the anus. Meanwhile, police are continuing to search his home and vehicle.