Now that’s what I call a real sh*tty day… A man in Tulsa, Oklahoma learned the hard way that stealing is not okay after he tried to smuggle out a can of Lysol disinfectant in his anus from his local Walmart. Robert Hogan, 52, was seen entering the Tulsa area Walmart looking a bit “creepy” according to employees. Eyewitnesses say he roamed the aisles for a bit, then went to the restroom where he remained for nearly 45 minutes. That’s when Hogan exited the restroom “very slowly, as if he was walking in pain.”
“Several of us were watching him on the security cam,” said Rachel Marvin, Walmart employee. “We knew he was up to no good, but I never imagined that he was doing this! And I don’t think he imagined that his shoplifting spree would’ve turned so tragic. I’ve honestly never heard of a man scream like that before. There was blood and diarrhea everywhere.”
According to the police report, Hogan exited the restroom and made it halfway through the store before shoppers around him say they heard a loud “pop.” They saw the man fall to the ground and a dark, chunky substance began oozing out of the pant leg of his shorts. The “dark chunky substance” was diarrhea and the “pop” was a result of a stolen Lysol can rupturing under pressure. Apparently, Hogan had the flu for over a week but could not afford to purchase Lysol to sanitize his house. The choice that he made to shoplift a can of Lysol ended him in the hospital with internal colon tears and 22 stitches in his anus. Smuggling a can of Lysol in your anus is never a good idea, but especially when you have a fever.
Hogan was treated at the local hospital then released to the custody of the Tulsa, Oklahoma Police Department. Hogan was booked in the county jail and released on a $1500 bond. Hogan was previously declared a “sexually dangerous person” when he was caught molesting a puppy in 2014. He also has a prior child molestation felony and 2003 when he assaulted a 16-year-old girl.