If I ever won the lottery I’d imagine one of the first things I’d do is not quit my job, but most people would disagree.
If you were to go around and take a mass consensus you’d find that a large portion of people would quit their jobs, and who could blame them? Well, this woman’s dreams came true when she actually DID win the lottery, but she decided to take ‘quitting’ to a whole new level on her way out!
The 41-year-old woman discovered she had a $3 million winning ticket last Friday night and almost immediately began plotting her exit from her job. When Monday rolled around and her “last day” was upon her (let’s face it, she really checked out on Friday) she went back in for one last thing, and the next thing her boss knew he was locking eyes with the woman taking a massive dump on his desk!
According to a statement he’d made to Valley Report:
“I slowly opened the door to discover the woman with her pants around her ankles, hunched over on my desk like a hippopotamus/cheetah dropping a massive poo on my desk. She shot her head towards me and locked eyes. I was frozen in shock and fear. In my peripheral vision I saw a huge mud-monkey sliming out of her butt like a Play-Doh fun factory.”
She didn’t really mind being arrested though, stating:
“It was worth it. On Friday when I realized I hit the lotto, I knew this would be the first thing I would do. I hit up every Mexican food truck and saved my dumps all weekend. I was shuffling around like a death-row inmate trying not to explode. I’ve been putting up with that guy’s shit for years, it’s time he put up with some of mine.”
Talk about a grand exit, and there’s no doubt in my mind that paying the fines that’ll be coming with this are going to be the best dollars she’s ever spent! I imagine it looked a little like this…