If you’ve found yourself scrolling through eBay recently in search of a new set of wheels, you may have come across the user sphlchwns. She recently took to the site to find a new owner for her red whip. However, instead of trying to advertise her Fiat in a positive light, she decided that honesty was the best policy and made it pretty obvious that her car isn’t exactly in mint condition.
If you did stumble across the post, titled: “Fiat 500 2008, needs TLC,” you probably realised at the start of her hilarious description that it wasn’t your average sales pitch. However, I bet it really, REALLY made you want to buy it. Check it out for yourself on the next page…
I have to admit, sphlchwns’ advertising technique is pretty refreshing. She doesn’t pretend that her ride is perfect, far from it. In fact, she highlights how she couldn’t give two hoots about the car – and makes it pretty evident why she wants to see the back of it so bad.
“This is a real bargain to be honest. Even though this car has genuinely ruined my life. I bought it for £6000 and then found out I’d been sold a CAT C car. I won’t lie to you, that pissed me off.
I crashed it within the first week with some minor damage to the bumper which I haven’t bothered to fix. I left it for 5 hours unaccompanied in Brixton while I attended a rave which I couldn’t stay for the entirety as I had work at 6am and came back to find a can of Stella rammed in the bonnet, leaving a small crack. The rave was shit and wasn’t worth it. I haven’t fixed this either. I was driving down the A10 and the silver exterior came flying off, hitting the window screen and scaring the shit out of me. I still have both of these and I could fix this easily with superglue but I can’t be bothered.That’s just about it with the exterior damage.”
“My MOT is due on the 27th. This IS passable. However. The work that needs to be done is as follows. Suspension needs fixing, brake cable needs putting back up and I need two new seatbelts. I’ve pretty much had it with this car. It’s an easy fix and it only has 90,000 miles on the clock. Just had two new tyres. Don’t know why I bothered.
In all fairness, I’ve had some pretty good times with this car. It’s never let me down, except for the upcoming MOT, and we’ve shared some good memories. My puppy puking everywhere in it, being pulled over for drink driving when I was actually just driving and dancing to Kate Bush erratically and getting a 6ft children’s slide into it. Impressive, I know. Oh. The sunroof doesn’t work. It got stuck open and the motor had to come out to get it shut. And when you press the buttons on the steering wheel they occasionally think you pressed a different one entirely.”
Evidently there is quite a lot of work that needs to be done on the vehicle – it needs new seatbelts, suspension needs fixing etc. But its MOT is “passable” and it only has 90,000 miles on the clock. In comparison to my car, this vehicle sounds like a step up. Furthermore, it has a sunroof (even though it doesn’t work).
Continue over to the next page to see why sphlchwns thinks her set of wheels would be a great buy for any dad looking to purchase a car for their kid…
I’m not a parent yet, but I imagine that when the time comes for my child to start driving, it will be a pretty stressful experience. All you can really do is ensure they are safe inside the car by making certain that their vehicle isn’t going to cause them any damage. Sphlchwns might be able to provide you with what you’re looking for. She continued in her description:
“If you’re a Dad reading this, I think it’s a good buy for your teenager as it will teach them patience. They also won’t be able to go over 80mph without it sounding like they’re going to break down.But seriously, I think this is for a mechanic that can do it up and make a big profit margin. It just needs a little love and I can’t give it to it because I fucking hate the thing.
Is it just me or has sphlchwns’ unusual selling technique actually made you want to purchase her vehicle? Clearly all that car needs is some love and attention – something it clearly hasn’t been provided with before; unless of course you count your puppy throwing up on the back seat as giving it “love and attention”.
Perhaps the owner had been feeding her pup watermelon before she took it for a ride, just like the dog in the video below. Rumour has it, some fruit can wreak havoc on an animal’s stomach, especially the outermost peel.