Tinder dates seem like a complete minefield to me. Do you shake hands and introduce yourself even though your date has definitely Facebook stalked you beforehand? What if they aren’t as hot as they looked in their picture? Questions aside, there is one thing that’s for sure. It must be awkward as hell and you’d never know how they really feel until they ask you for a second date or proceed to ignore you forever.
A lady called Michelle Thomas, who had a great time on her Tinder date, received a very strange text from the man who she had just gone for dinner and drinks with. The date even ended with a cheeky kiss and she was keen to see what the future would bring – until she received this message. Head over to the next page to read the text in question yourself…
After a lovely first date with this guy she met on Tinder, Michelle received this text:
“Hey Michelle, sorry been super busy at work today hun.Thanks for a wonderful evening last night. I really enjoyed your company and actually adore you. You’re cheeky and funny and just the sort of girl I would love to go out with if only my body and mind would let me. But I fear it won’t.I’m not going to bulls–t you… I f–king adore you Michelle and I think you’re the prettiest looking girl I’ve ever met. But my mind gets turned on my someone slimmer.Shallow? It’s not meant to be. It’s the same reaction you get when you read a great author or see an amazing image, or listen to a piece of music you love, it has that instant reaction in you that makes you crave more.
So whilst I am hugely turned on by your mind, your face, your personality (and God…I really, really am), I can’t say the same about your figure. So I can sit there and flirt and have the most incredibly fun evening, but I have this awful feeling that when we got undressed my body would let me down. I don’t want that to happen baby. I don’t want to be lying there next to you, and you asking me why I’m not hard.There are certain triggers that fire my imagination into life and your wit and intelligence are the beginning of that process which would inevitably end up in the bedroom. With just one result….I’m so disappointed in myself Michelle because I’ve genuinely not felt this way about anyone in ages, but I’m trying to be honest with you without sounding like a total knobhead.We could be amazing friends, we could flirt and joke and adore each other and… f–k me…
I would marry you like a shot if you were a slip of a girl because what you have in that mind of yours is utterly unique, and I really really love it.I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m trying to avoid bigger pain in the future by telling you now so we don’t have to go through that embarrassment. I’m a man… With all the red hot lusts of a man and all the failings of a man and I’m sure of my own body and its needs. Please try and forgive me. I adore you xx”
Sorry, what did I just read?! Is this guy serious or just mentally unstable? I think the creepiest thing is the fact he repeats her name so much. A few days after receiving this crazy text, Michelle responds in the best way possible. Check it out on the next page.
I’m sure it took Michelle a while to process his message but within a few days, she was able to come up with what is the best comeback text I have ever seen. A true two fingers up to the guy who dissed her.
“Dear Man I Met On Tinder.I was on another date when I received your message. He returned from the loo to find me in a flood of tears. He was lovely, but baffled, and hasn’t been in touch since, funnily enough.You don’t have to fancy me. We all have a good friend who we look at ruefully and think “you’re lovely, but you just don’t tickle my pickle”. We wish we were attracted to them, but our bodies and our brains don’t work like that. And that’s fine.What isn’t fine is the fact that, after a few hours in my company, you took the time to write this utterly uncalled-for message.
It’s nothing short of sadistic. Your tone is saccharine and condescending, but the forensic detail in which you express your disgust at my body is truly grotesque. The only possible objective for writing it is to wound me.And I’m ashamed to say, for a few moments, it worked. You stirred a dormant fear that every woman who was ever a teenage girl has – that it doesn’t matter how funny you are, how clever, how kind, how passionate, how loyal, how determined or adventurous or vibrant – if you’re a stone overweight, no one will ever find you desirable.I like the way I look.
I don’t look like Charlize Theron, and that’s fine – I look like me, and I like myself (I’m sure I’d like Charlize Theron, too if I ever met her. I hear good things).You may think are all my profile pictures are “FGASs” (That’s Fat Girl Angle Shots – pictures from angles that slim and flatter the girl. Because men only ever use candid, brutally-lit, unfiltered pics). But I think they’re a fair representation. And I’m pretty upfront about who I am: I describe myself as a woman who loves pizza, and include links to myInstagram page, where I have the #everybodysready bikini shots I took on my 30th birthday. I like to think I come across as a confident, happy woman. But could this be the very reason you have targeted me? Did you see me and think “She has far too high an opinion of herself, she needs bringing down a peg or two”? I have to ask – we all know the internet is a dangerous place to be a woman with opinions (I discovered this first hand when I ventured a response to those obnoxious bloody adverts).I showed your message to friends who expressed shock, horror, embarrassment on your behalf, and a desire to cause you actual physical harm.
One male friend told me I have a lovely bottom “if unmarriageable”. I laughed with them. Then I cried in my Slimming World group. That’s right! Slimming World! You see, I already KNOW that I’m overweight. I can tell you exactly how overweight I am – 20 pounds. I’ve already lost 15, and I’ve a stone and a half to go. I’m happy with that. I will get rid of it, safely and healthily. Does that mean that I can’t love and enjoy my body now? F** no.*I’ll never see or hear from you again (you may feel the need to respond to this blog. Please don’t.
There’s nothing you can say that will make me think that you’re not a disgrace to your gender).What truly concerns me, the real reason I’m responding so publicly, is the fact that you have a 13 year old daughter. A talented illustrator, who collects Manga comics and wants to visit Japan as soon as possible.I want you to encourage your daughter to love, enjoy, and care for her body. It belongs to her and only her. Praise her intellect, and her creativity. Push her to push herself and to be fearless. Give her the tools to develop a bomb-proof sense of self-esteem so that if (I’ll be kind. I’ll say “if”.) the time comes that a small, unhappy man attempts to corrode it, she can respond as I do now.Simon.Kiss.My.Exquisitely.Unmarriagable.Arse.P.S. “Slip of a girl”? CHRIST ALIVE, that’s creepy.P.P.S. You’re not 5’11”
Ooh, that last line must have really dented Simon’s ego. Safe to say I think he’ll remain single for a while. You thought this guy was terrible at dating? You’ve not seen anything yet. The video on the next page shows one guy’s shockingly bad game. Prepare to cringe.
In the video below, a prankster unashamedly walks up to various girls and abruptly tells them that he’s single. I wonder how far he can get. Not very, I would imagine.
Dating is a cruel game. Perhaps if people were less shallow and acted more like decent human beings then maybe they’d be more lucky in love. You know what they say; what goes around comes around.